in by cdlkshoja10

My daughter is 45 years old and was diagnosed with SLE last October. She seems to be in denial and won’t take her medicines or keep her doctor appointments.She’s divorced and lives alone so its not like she is a child and I can make her do whats right. I would appreciate any advise from anyone as to how to help her. Her great grandmother, my grandmother died from Lupus and pneumonia. Auto-Immune disease are very common in our family and I myself have Fibromyalgia along with Hypothyroidism and numerous other medical problems. PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!

About cdlkshoja10

Conditions: Fibromyalgia, Lupus (Systemic lupus erythematosus or SLE)

Doctors seen: MD – specialist

Treatment: Prescription medication/shots

Children: 4

Age: 55-64


1 Answer


Helping a family member or friend who has an auto immune condition and is in denial is very difficult. It puts you in the place of being judge and jury on how they behave or how they manage their disease. The best advice is to be supportive any time they will allow it and to live as a visible example of how to manage a healthy lifestyle.

Giving gifts to your daughter might include items that she may use to manage her symptoms when you are not around to watch. Healthy snacks, warm packs, comfy socks, or other items including vitamins or nutritious drinks that you have found to be helpful may also help her even if she is not ready to face her diagnosis.

Avoid overwhelming her with books on the subject or information that she may already have but not be willing to read. Instead, be there for her without being pushy so that she knows she has you for support when she is willing to face her demons. Sitting on the side lines may be one of the hardest things you have to do as a parent of an adult child with autoimmune disease that may be in denial. Watch for signs of depression which may accompany the denial and be willing to step up the interventions if these occur. Best of luck to you and your family.

Terri Forehand, RN

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Answered on March 27, 2013

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